My office looks out on Puget Sound, the container ships, and Bertha. Who is Bertha? Aside from being the first woman mayor of Seattle, Bertha is also the name of the world’s largest-diameter tunneling machine that’s digging the new Highway 99. Bertha is big and she even as her own twitter handle: @BerthaDigsSR99.
And who more deserving to be re-created in meat than a massive tunnel boring machine? MEAT DRILL just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?*
To create the meat drill, I needed a lot of meat. I also needed:
- ground beef & sausage
- ham steak
- ‘lil’ Smokies
- fresh corn
- green beans
- yellow cherry tomatoes
And, of course, toothpicks.
Once I made the drill body out of meatloaf, I created the drill head. To get the realistic green of the drill head, I used about half a bottle of green food coloring. And unlike previous experiences with food coloring, this time I used a spatula instead of my bare hands. Eureka! My hands didn’t look like I’d been squeezing leprechauns. I then added individual kernels of corn for the yellow drill bits. It gives a whole new spin on corn hole, eh?
The workers are made out of lil smokies — who actually eats those things anyway? Since safety is paramount, their hard hats are made from yellow cherry tomatoes, and their green bean arms convey the joy and excitement of drilling under Seattle and chasing all the rats above ground. Drill, baby, drill!
Overall, I’m super happy with the meat drill. I thought that saying “meat drill” would be more fun than the actual product, but I was wrong. Plus, it’s really amusing to ask unsuspecting friends if they want to see my meat drill.
Oh. And for those keeping score, I ate meatloaf every day for lunch for a whole week.
* I am 99% that whomever searches for “meat drill” in Google won’t have my art project in mind.
Don’t you think she needs her own theme song?
Bertha Butt Boogie (Part One)