Posted by josefiend

The MEATster Bunny Tale

The MEATster Bunny Tale

Most people are familiar with the chocolate bunny; the Peeps bunny; and the adorable nose-twitching, insanely soft, baby-bunneh-making, real life bunny; but few people know about the MEATster bunny. Just who is the utterly delightful, ham-covered bunny-shaped MEATster bunny? Who indeed. Rather than leaving a trail of jelly beans or brown-sugar and pineapple drippings, the … Continue reading

Easter Island Easter Bonnets

Easter Island Easter Bonnets

Once upon a time, on an island far far away, there was an Easter Parade. And, like any good Easter celebration, there were bonnets. And Spam. As delightful and mysterious as the statues on Easter Island are, they’re missing something. And it’s not just their eyeballs and bodies. They’re missing fetching, joyous bonnets. I shudder … Continue reading

Intestinal Strudel

Intestinal Strudel

If I’ve learned one lesson this past month, it’s to respect your digestive tube. The human body and what it’s able to accomplish is a wondrous thing. In fact, it’s something that should be celebrated — with intestinal strudel! While meat is my favorite medium, I sometimes like to mix things up and use fruit … Continue reading

The Seahawk and the Tube Meat Bronco

The Seahawk and the Tube Meat Bronco

I love my Seahawks. I love their scrappiness, their ability to overcome and change the minds of the naysayers, the big ol tummies of the blockers, and their collective, contagious passion. I’ve loved watching Seattle come together to support and celebrate our team, so it made sense to illustrate my support of the Seahawks with … Continue reading

Frosty’s Terrible Accident

Frosty’s Terrible Accident

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul who was severely lacking in commonsense and physical coordination. One day, against Santa and even the most adventurous of the elves’ advice, Frosty went sledding. He wrapped his favorite carrot scarf around his neck and adjusted his two eyes made out of coal. Then, after waxing up … Continue reading

Turkey Candelabra Centerpiece = Turkelabra!

Turkey Candelabra Centerpiece = Turkelabra!

Having temporarily satiated my macabre tendencies, I shifted medium from meat to vegetables for this year’s Thanksgiving centerpiece. Inspired by the delightfully amusing Menurkey, a menorah + turkey combination that celebrates the Hanukkah & Thanksgiving overlap, I wanted to also combine candles with turkey. But since I’m not Jewish, I opted for a candelabra. Thanks … Continue reading

Sarah Palin Turkey Pardoning Massacre Centerpiece

Sarah Palin Turkey Pardoning Massacre Centerpiece

While resurrection isn’t traditionally associated with American Thanksgiving, I’m reviving my 2008 Sarah Palin Turkey Pardoning Massacre centerpiece. Politics and conspiracy theorist rants against the media aside, Sarah Palin’s interview in front of the turkey beheading cone of death was … well, remarkable. We could speak at lengths about the real-life view into how your … Continue reading

Zombie Hotdog Pilgrims

Zombie Hotdog Pilgrims

For Thanksgiving dinner, I usually bring the centerpiece(s) and the bacon + Brussels sprouts dish. One year, I decided to combine my favorites to create Zombie Hot Dog Pilgrims. Because why not. And since my Thanksgiving dinnermates preferred Cher to Gaga, the Squash Mayflowers to sail to Cher Plymouth Rock. Chrysanthemum centerpieces are for your … Continue reading

Meat Drill

Meat Drill

My office looks out on Puget Sound, the container ships, and Bertha. Who is Bertha? Aside from being the first woman mayor of Seattle, Bertha is also the name of the world’s largest-diameter tunneling machine that’s digging the new Highway 99. Bertha is big and she even as her own twitter handle:  @BerthaDigsSR99. And who more deserving to … Continue reading

Bacon Cornucopia

Bacon Cornucopia

There are two things which America appears to agree on: Thanksgiving and bacon. And while Black Friday is slowly squashing the gathering of friends and family  to give thanks and share food, the allure and holiness of bacon doesn’t appearing to be waning. I like bacon as much as any meat-loving lady, but after this … Continue reading